


Houses of the Holy

by consultingcas



Series: Triptych [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Dean, Castiel and Gabriel are Men of Letters, Hunter Castiel, Hunter Gabriel, M/M, Michael!Dean, reverse!verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6429673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consultingcas/pseuds/consultingcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Gabriel Novak had only been looking for answers, trying to find out what had pulled Castiel out of Hell. They hadn't been expecting an angel to fall into their lives, quite literally. Nor did they expect to be dragged into some kind of prize fight between Heaven and Hell and an oncoming apocalypse. Cas falling in love with the angel wasn't exactly part of the plan either. But then again, the Novaks never had been too good at playing by the rules.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is not the fic I planned on writing. Not even close. But about halfway into the challenge, I happened to start watching Lucifer and in one of the episodes, you see where his wings got cut off. Something about that image, the burns where his wings were gone, just stuck with me and my muse just wouldn't let it alone. Factor in my fascination with the angelic disciplining procedures and Naomi, and this fic is what happened. Hope you enjoy it! I'm in no way done with this 'verse and hope you love it as much as I do.
> 
> First, though, there's some people I need to thank:
> 
> suchcandor for her amazing art. I fell in love with her piece immediately and just had to write a fic about it.
> 
> AngeloftheMoor for beta-ing, cheerleading and general advice, even in the midst of trying to move house.
> 
> Disizletzi for helping me figure out the structure, invaluable writing advice and beta-reading even at the last minute before posting.
> 
> You're all amazing and I couldn't have done it without you!

_ Cas had been buried alive before. A case had gone south, a haunting over in Tulsa. When they’d been digging up the ghost’s grave, he’d somehow been thrown inside the coffin.  He’d had nightmares for months: the tight enclosed space, the cold and dark, the horrifying smell of death. Gabriel had tactfully said nothing, but Cas couldn’t help but notice that it was a while before they tackled another salt and burn and stayed well away from graveyards. That was why, when he first woke up, he thought it was a trick. That he’d displeased Alistair somehow and this was his punishment. _

_ He tried to steady himself, quell the panic attack that threatened to overwhelm him. Breathing in and out in slow, steady breaths. It was hard. The air was too shallow and he was rapidly using up oxygen. _

_ Wait. That wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be breathing. However corporeal his body had felt in Hell, it’d never felt that real. The dry ache in his throat was familiar too, though it was decades since he’d last experienced it. Thirst. Cas tried to focus, think back on what he could remember last. There were only fragments: Alistair’s face filled with fear; a bright light that almost blinded him; his right shoulder burning with pain. Too jumbled for Cas to make any sense of them. _

_ He cried out for help, his voice hoarse out of disuse. “Help! Gabriel? Anybody?” _

_ No help seemed to be coming, then. He fumbled for the lighter in his jeans pocket, kicking on the wood above him until the structure collapsed, dunking soil on his head. He clawed it out of the way, surging towards a small speck of sunlight. Then he was free, collapsing onto the soft grass and staring up at the sky, the light so bright after the fiery darkness of Hell that it hurt his eyes. _

_ Whatever had pulled him out had leveled the place. Around the simple cross that had been his headstone, trees were laid in a perfect circle, felled by some kind of powerful blast. This was powerful magic. He should be worried. Whatever had done this, it was going to want something in exchange. He couldn’t focus on that now, though. He was alive. Free of Hell, of Alistair, of the knife. _

_ Cas took a few moments to savor his new freedom. Then he started to walk. _

xxx

They’d spent most of the week trawling through lore books after Cas showed up at the bunker fresh out of Hell, only the handprint branded on his shoulder to act as a guide. It was thankless work. The only thing they’d really managed to establish was that no one had seen anything like it before. Which, given the scale of the Men of Letters archives, was worrying in itself.

That evening had been shaping up to be as unproductive as ever when it happened. Just a red light flashing on the computer bank. Frowning, Gabriel went over to check on it: he’d always been better with the tech side of things than Cas, who was about as comfortable with computers as demons were with holy water. As he fiddled with the computer, another few lights lit up, the machine whirring ominously.

“Unidentified power in the area. Not far from the bunker either.” He explained. “It looks like serious mojo too. The monitor’s picking up a lot of spellwork and the readings are only getting stronger.”

Castiel moved over to stand next to him, frowning as he looked down at the monitor.

“You think we should check it out?”

“This level of power? We’d be idiots not to.”

Only pausing long enough to grab their guns, the two of them headed outside and started to trek out towards the coordinates which seemed to be at the centre of the power surge. They’d barely started walking when a burst of white light flashed from the forest up ahead. There was a noise too, so high pitched that it was painful to hear. With Gabriel close on his heels, Castiel sprinted towards the noise. A clearing had appeared in the wood, trunks of trees felled by the blast and sprawled on the ground like corpses. The same kind of blast that had happened when Cas had returned from Hell. In the centre was a motionless figure, stretched out like the Vitruvian Man. Blood caked on his naked torso, with his jeans only just escaping the same fate. A knife lay just a few feet away, its silver glinting in the moonlight. If Cas hadn’t seen the man’s chest rising and falling in uneven breaths, he would have sworn that he was looking at a corpse. The man was alive, if just barely. In pain too, going by the occasional stifled whimper. As he bent down to examine the body, Cas tried not to notice how the man’s freckles covered his skin in uneven constellations or his perfect jawline. Not important for the moment, though: save the handsome stranger’s life first, ogle his good looks later.

As Cas beckoned Gabriel over, the man stirred, revealing eyes as green as the forest around them.  He looked startled when he saw Cas, trying to shift away from him but failing, the pain of movement too great for him. It didn’t take long for Cas to find the cause of the damage. Two bloody sores were visible down the man’s back, the cuts obviously going deep with the skin torn away. He’d lost too much blood already and if they didn’t compress the wounds fast, he wasn’t going to make it. Cas moved quickly, making some make-shift bandages from his shirt, he and Gabriel working wordlessly together to try and stem the worst of the blood flow. They could do a better job when they were back at the bunker and could make sure that his wounds weren’t going to become infected, but this would be good enough for the journey back.

That didn’t stop him from wondering, though, about what could have caused this. Not to mention what had happened to this man that they were trying so desperately to save.

“Who are you?” Cas muttered as he worked, more to himself than anything else.

“Dean. My name’s Dean.” Speaking was obviously an effort for him, the man wincing in pain. “I’m the one who-” He tried to say. That was when he fainted..

xxx

They tried all the usual tests. Silver, iron, holy water. Dean passed every single one of them. It didn’t make any difference, though. They knew he wasn’t human. That had become immediately obvious when they’d got him back to the bunker with the intention of treating his wounds, only to find that they’d healed over, the scars looking weeks old instead of hours.

Dean didn’t seem too perturbed when he woke up to find himself handcuffed to a bed in the Men of Letters dungeon, the two siblings pointing guns in his direction.

Instead, he just shot them a cheery grin. “Hey, you guys got any food? I’m starved.”

Cas gave him a flat look. “That depends. We’re not usually in the habit of entertaining monsters.” 

“Yeah, either you can start talking why it was Ground Zero out there where we found you, or we’ll find another way to figure out what you are. We know you’re not human,” Gabriel agreed.

Dean’s smile faded. “Look, I’m here to help, I swear. I know who you guys are. Castiel and Gabriel Milton, Men of Letters, right?”

“How do you know that?” Cas glared at him. It was hardly a surprise that Dean had heard of them (the two of them did have quite the reputation in the hunting community, after all), but it still didn’t make him feel any better about the man’s miraculous appearance not far from their home base with enough mojo in tow to flatten a small patch of woodland.

“’Course I’ve heard of you.” Dean met his gaze.  “See, I’m the one who pulled your ass out of Hell.”

Time seemed to stop. It felt like an eternity before Cas heard the click of a safety catch and Gabriel speaking, his voice full of quiet anger.

“Thanks for that. Now you can start explaining what you are and what the hell you want with my little brother.”

“I’m an angel of the Lord.” Dean stated, unmistakable power behind his words.

“There’s no such thing.”

“You might want to try having a little faith, pal.” The lights in the dungeon flickered, sparks flying around them. “I’d show you my wings, but that’s not really an option right now.” Dean shifted his shoulders uncomfortably. Cas couldn’t help but think of the gashes on his upper shoulders, how they were in just the right place for wings. But it couldn’t be. Why would an angel save  _ him _ ? He was nothing special. Yes, he’d made a demon deal to bring Gabriel back from the dead, but he can’t have been the first person to do that either.

“Yeah, well, we’re not buying it.” Gabriel didn’t look convinced either. “You want to try telling the truth now?”

“I am. You’re just not accepting it.” Dean was looking at Cas now, eyes wide and earnest. “I know you’re religious. You used to pray every night, before Hell. I heard you.”

Cas had never told anyone that. Not even Gabriel. “Why me?” He said softly, voice cracking with nerves. “There were so many other souls down there that were more deserving.”

“You don’t think you deserved to be saved.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Just tell me why.”

“Because it was the only way to stop the apocalypse.”


	2. Chapter 2

_ “Why did you save him?” Gordon’s voice was quiet. Too quiet. Dean had known the other angel long enough to recognize the warning signs. The all too expressionless face. His fingers beating out an uneven rhythm on the desk in front of him. Gordon was angry. He was just doing a very good job of trying to hide it. _

_ Dean shrugged, tried for a cheery grin. “He’s my true vessel. Kinda would defeat the point, if he was stuck down in Hell. Stopped him breaking the first seal too.” _

_ “Of course. We were planning a rescue mission to stop that from happening. Instead you risked yourself on a campaign that should’ve taken a whole garrison of angels. What if you’d been captured, or if they’d found a way to kill you? We both know that not all the Knights of Hell are accounted for. One of them could have been waiting for you. You destroyed so many of them, after all.” _

_ “Well, I wasn’t. Quit worrying, it’s over now. Cas can go back to his normal life and we don’t have to worry about Lucifer getting out of jail.” _

_ Gordon stood, turning his back to Dean and examining one of the original pictures that hung on the wall. Dean couldn’t remember whose Heaven Gordon had suggested they meet in this time, but they’d obviously been loaded in life. He’d have settled for somewhere a little less fancy, a bar maybe, but Gordon always seemed to choose places like this. Probably because he knew they made Dean uncomfortable, a way of rebalancing the inequality between them just a little. Gordon always had been known for being a little too inclined towards the sin of pride. Dean tolerated his quirks, though. You couldn’t have hoped to find a better soldier to be his deputy in commanding the garrisons and even if he didn’t like the guy, he trusted him. Gordon was utterly dedicated to the cause, more zealous to his father’s orders than even Dean. _

_ “You got anything else to report, Gordon?” Dean asked, when the silence had gone on just a little too long. _

_ “Yes. There was another matter.” Gordon seemed to be choosing his words carefully, still not looking at him. _

_ “Yeah? What is it?” _

_ “Do you ever wonder if Father wanted Lucifer to escape the Cage one day, so we can finish it all?” _

_ Dean froze. The mention of his brother always had that effect on him, let alone thinking about what could happen, what had to happen, if Lucifer was released. “No. I don’t.” He kept his voice level, not betraying any emotion. _

_ “You couldn’t kill him, could you, when it came to it?” _

_ “We’re not talking about this.” Dean’s curt reply was answer enough, though, and they both knew it. _

_ Gordon turned to face him, examining him curiously. “You know there’s nothing left of Samael in there, Michael. He’s an abomination. It would be a mercy to put him out of his misery.” _

_ “I can’t believe that.” _

_ Gordon nodded, as though Dean had confirmed his suspicions. “That’s why you saved him. You can’t kill Lucifer, even after all this time.” _

_ “He’s my brother. I’m not gonna hurt him.” Dean met his eyes, holding his gaze. It felt like they were playing a game of poker, both of them waiting for the other one to fold. Dean had put his cards on the table. Time to find out what game Gordon was playing. _

_ Gordon sighed, “I’d hoped you could see reason. Looks like I was wrong.” _

_ Dean felt the cool touch of metal on his wrists and a quiet click. He tried to struggle free, but it was useless. The chair had been rigged from the moment he’d sat down, sigils carved into the cuffs that even his archangel mojo couldn’t beat. _

_ “Release me.” He snarled, glaring at Gordon. “I’m your superior. You can’t do this!” _

_ “Heaven wants an end to Lucifer. Finish off Father’s last command, what you couldn’t do millennia ago. Maybe when he’s pillaging Earth, you’ll finally see reason.” Gordon snapped, eyes cold and emotionless. “Not even you are exempt from Father’s orders, Michael. Those who disobey are punished. You know that as well as I do.” _

_ “What are you going to do to me?” Dean never liked to think much on what happened in the white rooms of reeducation. They said that it wasn’t torture, whenever he’d bothered asking. But those angels who were unfortunate enough to get taken there were never quite the same. _

_ “Nothing permanent. You’ll still be wanted in the fight against Lucifer, if you ever see sense. Just something to make you realize how useless your efforts were.” Gordon’s smile was a cruel, bitter thing. He pulled out his blade, tracing it lazily along Dean’s shoulders. “You always were too proud of your wings…” _

xxx

They didn’t take it well. Gabriel snarked his way through most of Dean’s story, until he started talking about the vessels. He shut up, then, his usually mobile face expressionless. Cas could see his hands shaking, though. Couldn’t be easy finding out that you were destined to be the vessel of the Devil himself. That just made it so much worse. Cas wanted to comfort him, but he was too caught up in his own worries. He’d always thought Heaven were the good guys, right back to his childhood when they’d been packed off to Father Joshua’s church every time Dad had been working a big case. It had felt safe there, the statues of angels watching over them, the peace and tranquility. Dean might be on their side, but he was only one angel and it sounded like there was a whole faction of Heaven at the very least against them. They’d have never been able to force Dean to fall without someone noticing, otherwise. Cas knew the Bible, and he didn’t rate their chances.

“Why Dean?” He asked eventually, breaking the deathly silence that had fallen over the group. It wasn’t the question he most wanted to ask, not even close, but they’d had enough earth-shattering news for one day. Better to keep things simple.

Dean laughed, “Excuse me?”

“You said you’re Michael, leader of the Heavenly Host.”  _ The angel who I’m destined to be the vessel for. _ “But you introduced yourself as Dean. Why?”

Dean’s smile turned bitter. “I don’t like going by that name. The guy I was, when Dad called me that…I’m not him anymore. I don’t want to be. Dean was as good a name as any. James Dean, the guy from ‘On the Road’, you get the picture.”

Cas tilted his head in confusion, “I don’t know those references.”

“Seriously? I spent most of my time in Heaven and I still know who frigging James Dean is.”

“Don’t expect my baby bro to know anything that isn’t at least a hundred years old and found in a book of supernatural lore.” Gabriel chipped in, smiling slightly.

“I do know some popular culture.” Cas muttered peevishly.

“Yeah, yeah. Reading all of Shakespeare’s plays doesn’t count and you know it.” Gabriel smirked before going back to business. “Question is, what’s going to happen next? I can’t see the winged dicks upstairs just sitting back, not if they’ve kick you out for stopping their plans.”

Dean nodded, “Yeah, Gordon’s got something planned. Least with me here, he’ll not be able to do anything. The Righteous Man has to be Cas, or someone of the right bloodline to be my vessel, and there’s no one alive who fits the bill for that.” He glanced down at himself. “The guy I’m wearing right now’s not strong enough to take on Lucifer, not of the right bloodline and I wouldn’t have anywhere near my full power. All we’ve got to do is make sure this bunker of your’s is properly warded while we make a plan of attack and we’re set.”

“You’re possessing someone?” Cas should have realised that, what with them being the vessels and all. Still, it was another thing entirely to hear Dean refer to someone whose body he’d stolen so casually.

“Yeah.” Dean shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t like doing this, but it’s the only way I can stay on Earth. At least this guy didn’t have any family or anything. He was drinking his way into the grave when I found him. It’d have sucked to take someone who had a family and actual life ahead of them.”

That didn’t make it any better. A human life was a human life, no matter what their circumstances were. Cas might like Dean, but that was something he couldn’t just become comfortable with, the fact that Dean was wearing another man’s face. Gabriel didn’t show any signs of being bothered by it, when Cas snuck a glance in his direction, which was unusual. Cas would have assumed he’d be violently protesting right around now.

If anything, Gabriel looked uncomfortable by the awkward silence that had descended upon the group. He stood up, stretching and yawning theatrically.“Well, I’ll leave you guys to it. I’m gonna hit the hay. Long day, you know?”

“See you later, Gabriel.”

Dean watched Gabriel leave, expression thoughtful. “He’s not what I expected.”

Cas frowned, tilting his head slightly in confusion. “How so?”

“I just…I figured he’d be more like my brother. ‘Cause of the vessels, you know?”

 

Cas nodded. He fell silent, thinking. That was one of the things he couldn’t help but be curious about. Dean obviously cared about what happened to humanity. He wouldn’t have saved Cas and stopped the Apocalypse otherwise. But then there was Lucifer. He hadn’t killed him before, just shut him up where he could do no harm. Dean had to know he was only delaying the inevitable, if it really was part of God’s plan that the two of them should fight. Besides, this was Lucifer. God had cast him out for his sins. Not to mention he’d created demons. Cas had been through Hell, literally. He knew just what it took to warp a human soul into something unrecognizable. He’d been so close to playing a part in doing that himself, been on the verge of saying Yes to Alistair when Dean had rescued him. Dean had to see the potential danger too.

 

“Why didn’t you kill him?”

Dean looked away, suddenly finding a spot on the floor utterly fascinating.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Cas said quickly.

“No, I get it. You’re curious. ‘Sides, if I had, you might not’ve got dragged into this mess. Just not a story I like telling, that’s all.”

“It’s alright.” Cas dared to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Family can always hurt the worst, when things go wrong.” He hesitated, debating how personal to get before sighing, reaching a decision. “I take it you know some of my family history.”

“That you grew up as Men of Letters, doing some hunting on the side? You sold your soul for your brother, after he got caught in Azazel’s trap, then spent most of the year you got trying to bust free of it. Yeah. But that’s about it.”

“Yes, well, my childhood wasn’t exactly easy. My mother was a hunter, Father a Man of Letters. That’s how they met. When Gabriel was born, they retired so we would be free of any potential supernatural threat. That wasn’t to be, of course. Azazel killed her when I was just six months old. Father went back to the Men of Letters, burying himself in his books. Gabriel was more of a parent to me than he ever was. Father was so obsessed with finding out what had killed her that we hardly ever saw him. I still wanted to prove myself to him, though, show that I was experienced enough as a hunter to help. Then one day, he just left. No note or anything, but we knew where he’d gone.” He sighed, running a hand nervously through his hair. “I went looking for him, but he eventually sent me a text, telling me to stop. That was the last we heard from him, before we finally found the demon and managed to take it down.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was his choice, I see that now. But I still hated him for it at the time. I’d believed in him, and he let me down.”

Dean sighed, “No need to explain. I’ve been there. I’m a big expert on deadbeat dads. So…Yeah, I get it. I know how you feel.”

Cas didn’t know what to say. Words could so often be taken as pity, instead of real comfort.

“How’d you deal with it?” Dean asked eventually, voice quiet.

“Mostly, hunting. But family and friends help too. I appreciate what I’ve got, I suppose.”

“I’ve not got many of those any more.” Dean looked at the floor. Cas couldn’t help but be struck how much Dean’s decision had cost him. He might’ve saved the world, but he’d lost his family in the process. That had to hurt.

He couldn’t just sit there and say something. “Yes, you do. Gabriel and I are here now.” He had just wanted to comfort him, but even as he said it, Cas knew it was true. There was something about Dean that he couldn’t help but like. Maybe they didn’t trust him fully yet, not enough to truly be considered friends, but that would come with time. Besides, it wasn’t like Dean had anywhere else to go. They couldn’t just cast him out.

Dean smiled at him, “You’re a good guy, Cas.”

“Not particularly. But thank you.”

xxx

Gabriel was careful. Waited until there was no sign of movement before making his way with cautious steps towards the garage. It was only the work of a few moments to quietly start the Continental’s ignition and drive out of the garage as soundlessly as he could, making his way into town. He hated sneaking round behind Cas’s back like this, but there were some things it was best his kid brother didn’t know about. What Cas didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. His extra-curricular activities from when Cas was still six-feet under being one of them.

Kali was already waiting outside the bar they’d agreed upon when he showed up, looking unimpressed.

“You’re late. Again.” She drawled.

“Had to make sure I wasn’t being followed.” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “You’d rather my baby bro found out you’re still on the scene?”

She shrugged. “He’ll know soon enough. Especially with an angel around. Your brother’s new feathered friend probably already knows that you’re consorting with demons.”

“You saying we should stop then?” That wouldn’t do. Not with Lilith still on the loose. Gabriel still owed her one for what she did to Cas. Besides, if an apocalypse was really brewing, they’d need all the firepower they could get. Cas didn’t have to know exactly how Kali was helping him develop his powers, did he?

“That’s what I came to tell you. We have to end this.” Kali stood, turning her back on him. “Goodbye, Gabriel.”

“No, wait!”  He caught her shoulder, forcing her to turn and face him. “Let’s talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’ve made my decision.”

“That you’re going? What happened to taking down Lilith?”

“Priorities change. Angels smite first, ask questions later. They won’t care if I’m being helpful or not. The only thing they understand is violence. This will end in blood, no matter what we do.”

“I won’t let that happen. I don’t trust him, but Dean seemed like he could be reasoned with.”

“What about the others? More will come, I can promise you that much.”

He laughed softly, “Me and Cas aren’t exactly strangers to a good old-fashioned apocalypse, remember?”

“Not like this.”

“What’d you know about them?” Gabriel asked quietly. He’d never seen Kali look scared before. Not like this.

“Honestly? Not much. I’ve never met one. But I know enough to want to keep my distance. Take care of yourself, Gabriel.”

“I will, I promise.”


	3. Chapter 3

Dean’s shoulders ached. It was that dull pain, the kind that never really goes away, just throbs on in the background and quietly drives you mad. The occasional imbalance sucked too, with him sometimes struggling to find his feet, feeling the absence of the reassuring weight of his wings. He couldn’t escape it. Couldn’t avoid the finality of it either, that feeling that he’d never be able to go back home as Gordon had sawed them off. To his credit, Cas had at least tried to distract him, releasing him from the bunker’s dungeon and giving him a full tour, even helping him pick out a room.

Dean could’ve fallen anywhere, aimed for where he knew those angels still loyal to him would be stationed. Instead, as Gordon threw him from Heaven, Dean searched desperately for the unmistakable glow of Cas’s soul, for the piece of his grace he’d branded into the hunter’s skin as he raised him from Hell and remade his body. It was a gamble, he knew. The Miltons normally hunted things like him, instead of trusting them. They might not listen to him. But he had to tell them, had to make sure there was no chance of another apocalypse. The first one had been bad enough. Watching Sam be cast out of Heaven, being ordered to kill his own brother. Dean didn’t think he could take it a second time. Being here with the Miltons, making sure that Cas never fulfilled his destiny as the Righteous Man, that was the only way of being sure that it couldn’t happen again.

Dwelling on any of his woes wouldn’t help, though. He needed a distraction. That was probably why, before the Milton brothers showed any sign of stirring, he made his way quietly to the kitchen and started cooking up some breakfast. He couldn’t do much (being stuck up in Heaven for millennia had his downsides), but he’d picked up bits and pieces from his current vessel’s memories and it couldn’t be that hard to put into practice. Rummaging through the stack of CDs in the kitchen, he soon struck gold with a copy of Physical Graffiti and before too long, he was singing tunelessly along to “In My Time of Dying”.

“I didn’t think you’d be into Zeppelin.”

Dean nearly dropped the egg he was in the process of breaking. He turned to see Cas leaning against the doorframe, smiling fondly at him.

“Speak for yourself. That’s the perk of angel powers. You don’t want to know how many times I’ve sneaked down to Earth for rock concerts. Your tapes, or your brother’s?”

“Mine. Gabriel’s more of an Asia fan.”

“Heathen.”

“That’s what I’m always telling him.” Cas moved into the kitchen, watching Dean mix together the batter for pancakes. “Need any help?”

“Nah, I can manage. ‘Sides, that’d kinda defeat the point of making you breakfast as a thank you for taking me in.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I wanted to.”

Wordlessly, Cas moved to grab some bacon out of the fridge, starting to fry it up so it was nice and crispy.

“Thought I told you not to help.” Dean couldn’t help but laugh softly, watching him with an amused expression.

Cas grinned back at him. “You’re not the only one who’s stubborn around here.”

They made a good team, working together in the kitchen. Cas talked just enough to keep Dean from being left alone too long with his thoughts, teasing him for his bad singing and telling him stories from past hunts. Dean responded in kind with stories about the garrisons and Heaven. It felt nice, the casual camaraderie. Almost like home. Dean quickly pushed the thought away, though. He couldn’t afford to get attached. Cas was just his charge, not his friend. Any affection would only complicate the situation. Wouldn’t help him protect Cas either. No, it was better to keep his distance.

As they were serving up, Gabriel wandered into the kitchen, hair askew and yawning.

“Something smells good.”

Cas glanced over at his brother with an amused expression. “Looks like you were out late last night.”

“You got that right.” Gabriel grinned lasciviously back at him.

“Well, neither of us want to hear about whatever your…activities were last night.” Cas shot a pointed look in Dean’s direction.

Dean couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m not a prude, Cas. I can deal with you saying the word ‘sex’.” He could see the reek of demon all over Gabriel, though, the fresh taint on his soul from drinking demon blood. Kali’s influence over the elder Novak brother was troubling to him. Maybe ensuring that Gabriel was aware of it would help. “Whoever it was, they’ve got to have been a demon in the sack. That’s some sex hair you’ve got.”

“Yeah, well hypocritical much, coming from you two. You forgotten what personal space is or something?” Gabriel sniped back, doing his best to hide his sudden nervousness.

Cas didn’t seem to notice it, though, taking a few steps away from Dean, his face turning scarlet. “We were just cooking.”

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Of course Gabriel kept going. He’d found a way of irritating his brother.

“Shut up, Gabriel.” Cas snapped.

“Cool it, Cas. He’s just trying to screw with us.” Bit of a pathetic joke really, too. Dean wouldn’t be so unprofessional as to sleep with his charge. He rested a hand on Cas’s shoulder. “How about we try those pancakes, huh?” Cas flinched at his touch, but nodded.

xxx

Dean was infuriating. Stupid angel, with his stupid charming smile and stupidly beautiful eyes. Dean couldn’t have found a vessel which matched all of the things Cas found most attractive if he’d tried. If he’d been a jerk, that would have made things earlier. Instead, he was kind, thoughtful. He always knew how to make Cas laugh. There was an inner sadness there too. Sometimes Cas would notice the pain Dean tried so hard to hide when talking about his family or Heaven. Those times were the worst. They just made him want to take Dean in his arms and make sure he knew just how appreciated he was.

Gabriel had noticed too. Of course he had. He’d always been far too good at spotting where Cas’s affections lay from when they were kids, sometimes even before Cas himself did. They often joked that Gabriel had realized Cas was gay before he had. Gabriel had refrained from saying anything to him about it, but Cas knew his brother. He could tell he disapproved. Considering Gabriel still didn’t trust Dean and that his new favourite game was to see how quickly he could wind up the archangel, that shouldn’t have been so surprising.

Eventually, though, enough was enough. Gabriel cornered Cas in his room after one particularly frustrating research session with Dean.

“Okay, this has got to stop.”

“What?”

“Don’t act cute, bro. You know what. I’ve seen you making puppy dog eyes at Dean since he arrived in the bunker.”

So there was no way to escape talking about this, then. Great. Cas sighed, “He is aesthetically attractive, yes.”

“You mean, you want to do the horizontal mambo with him.”

“No!” At Gabriel’s disbelieving look, Cas sighed. “It’s complicated.”

“No, it’s not. You’ve got a crush on the angel.”

There was no use denying it now. “What if I do?”

“Oh, maybe ‘cause it’s a bad plan and you should know better?” Gabriel raised a skeptical eyebrow. “We barely know him, let alone trust him.”

“I know that, Gabriel.” Cas said wearily.

“He’s not even human. Before we met him, you were convinced whatever’d dragged you out of Hell had got to have some hidden reason for wanting you out, now just ‘cause he’s got a pretty meatsuit, you want to get in his pants? Didn’t think you were that shallow.”

“Like you thought having feelings for a supernatural being was so wrong when you met Kali?” Cas snapped back. “Don’t be a hypocrite, Gabriel. It doesn’t suit you.”

Cas had begged Gabriel to stop trusting her, to tell her to leave. But he wouldn’t, no matter what Cas said or did. Cas couldn’t help but have been relieved when there was no sign of her still on the scene, after his resurrection. That had been one of his worries while in Hell, what Kali might manipulate Gabriel into doing, all in the name of bringing him back. Alistair had known it too. It was one of his favourite to prey upon amongst Cas’s weaknesses.

Gabriel’s face crumpled. He looked at the floor, not meeting Cas’s eyes. “This is nothing like that.”

Shit. Cas hadn’t meant to actually upset him. But then, he’d never really understood how much Gabriel seemed to care for the demon. He softened, saying quietly, “I’m sorry. I should have remembered how much she meant to you.”

“It’s fine. Me and Kali…It was just a fling.” Gabriel was lying. Cas had never seen him care that deeply for one of his conquests before. “Seriously, though, you can’t trust him, Cas. I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to get hurt and I didn’t say anything.”

“I understand. You always have my back and I appreciate it.” Cas smiled slightly. “I can’t help how I feel, though. Believe me, I’m aware it would be easier if I didn’t like him the way I do.”

Gabriel grinned back at him. “You could at least stop flirting with him so much. Third-wheeling sucks ass. I don’t know what’s worse, you ignoring personal space, or him being completely oblivious.”

“That is something. He has no idea how I feel.” Cas sighed. “Or he does, and just doesn’t wish to hurt my feelings.”

“Then he’s an idiot. You’re awesome.” Gabriel said simply. He paused before saying quietly, “I know it’s more than sex. You look happier, when he’s around.”

“It is.”

xxx

It wasn’t just a crush. Cas had never felt this way before, but he knew it went far past that. This was love. Blissful ecstasy in the moments when he could make Dean laugh, when he would smile just for Cas. Cruel agony when he knew that Dean could never, would never, feel the same way. He was an archangel, after all. Cas was just himself. One messed-up human who’d happened to be foolish enough to get himself a one-way ticket to Hell before Dean’s intervention. That was even without thinking about the gay thing. Cas had always rationalized that a loving and merciful God would never hate a whole group of people on who they were in love with. Being confronted with a real-life actual angel, one who you were ever so slightly in love with, though…That made it harder to be so sure in your convictions. Cas didn’t think Dean would smite him. But he’d rather avoid that particular ironic twist on “Tragic ways to end your homosexual love affair”.

If he was honest, the rejection was what he feared the most.

Better to have Dean as a friend, than to lose him completely.

So he kept quiet.

xxx

That all changed the moment alcohol became involved. Cas didn’t often get drunk. He’d always been good at holding his liquor and in their profession, it didn’t pay to drink yourself under the table. You never knew what would be waiting to jump you, if you did. ‘Course, caution went out the window the moment Dean happened to mention his angelic abilities meant that it took a lot for him to even feel tipsy: Gabriel always liked a challenge. Cas couldn’t help being roped in as well. It was the first time Gabriel and Dean had been anything close to friendly, preferring instead to bicker most of the time they were together, and after a few rounds of vodka shots, Cas wasn’t exactly interested in considering why this wasn’t the greatest idea in the world. It didn’t take long before they were all feeling suitably buzzed. Gabriel being Gabriel, he suggested that they made things a little more exciting, play a round or two of Truth or Dare.

 

It was all relatively tame at first. Dean picked Truth and tells the hilarious story of how he somehow ended up on a date with Marilyn Monroe. Gabriel ate an entire apple pie (which he regretted a few minutes later when he ended up throwing up most of it down the toilet). It didn’t stay that way for long, though: when it was Cas’s turn and he’d picked Dare, he knew he was in trouble from the moment he saw Gabriel’s diabolical smirk.

“I dare you to…” Gabriel paused for dramatic effect. “You’ve got to kiss Dean.”

“No.” Sometimes, Cas  _ really _ hated his brother.

“A dare’s a dare, baby bro. C’mon, don’t be a spoilsport. We did our dares, now you do your’s.”

“It’s okay, Cas.” Dean reassured him. “I know it doesn’t mean anything. Just a dare, right?”

_ That’s not the problem here. The problem is that I want it to mean something. _ Trouble was, if he didn’t go through with it, it’d be obvious there was a reason why. Then Dean might begin to realise, how he really felt. 

Cas sighed. “Fine.” 

 

He got up, moving towards Dean, not quite managing to look him in the eye. He cupped Dean’s face in his hands, hands gentle, leaning in close, and then they were kissing. It was better than Cas had ever imagined it could be. He couldn’t help letting out a small moan as their lips brushed against each other, pressing in ever closer. Dean didn’t move at first, standing there immobile. But soon he leaned in, sighing happily, fisting a hand in Cas’s hair to keep him close. Cas melted into the touch. It was like Gabriel, the bunker, everything had faded away, the two of them at the centre of their own little universe. Cas didn’t want it to ever end.

 

Suddenly, Dean stiffened.

Cas moved away slightly, their foreheads still touching, wanting to give him space, but not pull away entirely. “Dean?”

Dean didn’t answer him. His body was tense, as immovable as stone. Eyes unseeing, not really seeing Cas although he was right in front of him. Something was wrong. Badly wrong.

Cas tried again. “Dean. Talk to me.”

Dean pushed him away. His hands were shaking. “Don’t touch me.” He whispered.

Cas was motionless, wishing he could comfort Dean, but not being confident enough to risk it. It seemed like eons, but finally, Dean turned and stalked out of the room without a backward glance.

 

Cas sunk to the floor, curling in on himself.

“Go after him.” Gabriel’s voice. 

Cas was filled with sudden anger. This was all his fault. If he had just kept quiet, not suggested that stupid dare, especially not when he knew how Cas felt about Dean, then none of this would have ever happened. Now Dean was upset and he had no idea why, only that it was somehow because of him. 

Cas looked up, glaring at his brother. “And make things worse? No. As if you care. You had to know something like this would happen. Dean’s made it quite plain he only sees me as a friend.”

Gabriel sighed. “I’m not  _ that _ much of an ass. I only did it ‘cause…” He looked away. “I’ve seen how he looks at you. There’s something there. He just won’t admit it. Every time you guys are more than friendly, he backs off. You’ve been so unhappy too, pining after him. I figured, I’d see what’d happen, maybe force you two to move past the soulful staring. If it went wrong, you could just blame it on me being a dick.”

It was a good plan, Cas had to give him that. He had been unhappy too, having Dean around all the time and knowing that it would never go further than friendship. He looked at the floor, “I really thought we had something. For a moment...I thought he cared too.”

“You did. He kissed you back, right? Not just a peck on the lips either. I thought I was gonna have to leave you two alone to have a proper make-out session. Something else spooked him.”

“I need to go talk to him, don’t I?”

“Go get him, tiger.”

 

xxx

 

_ “I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing.” _

 

_ A white room. Surgical instruments glint on a table. Pain, so much pain. He can hardly bear it. _

 

_ “I’m fixing you, Michael. You’re broken, but this will help. I promise.” _

 

_ “Michael, don’t, please! I’m your brother!” The stab of a blade. Merciless. _

 

Dean closed his eyes, trying to drive away the images. Everything’s so confused. Fragments buzz around his head, but when he tries to remember, remember why they’d been so important, the full memories feel just out of reach, like something’s holding him back.

 

He’d kissed Cas. A human, his charge no less. It broke every rule Dean had been taught to respect in Heaven. Worse still, he’d liked it. Dean had seen the stars burst into life, the formation of the earth. Humanity’s first steps. The glory of Heaven itself. But none of it, not one single moment, could compare to how Cas made him feel. 

 

Dean wasn’t supposed to feel. Not like this. He wasn’t supposed to want this, want one meaningless human above all the rest of Creation, to have his happiness so dependent on a mortal soul. But then, he wasn’t supposed to go to Hell either, to disobey orders to save a single damned man. He wasn’t supposed to be happier here, disgraced and cut off from Heaven without even his wings, because he’d found a new family amongst these humans. He’d managed to be a good soldier for so long. Millennia of serving Heaven’s needs faithfully, pushing aside notions of free will and of emotions in favour of duty. All of it destroyed in a matter of weeks. He didn’t know what to feel.

 

Dimly, he heard the door to his room creak open. Dean glanced up to see Cas waiting in the door, looking hesitant. “May I come in?”

Dean sighed and nodded, not looking at him as he came over, sitting down next to Dean on the bed.

“Can we talk about this?”

Dean stayed silent.

“I know it was only a dare. You don’t have to worry...if that’s why you ran.” 

Part of Dean wanted to cry out that no, it wasn’t. Maybe at first, but he’d wanted Cas, wanted to kiss him. Instead he shrugged, deliberately nonchalant. “Yeah, I know.”

Cas sighed, looking away. “I like to think we’re friends, Dean. You can talk to me, if something’s concerning you.”

“We’re not friends.” That was blunter than he’d intended.

Cas didn’t look at him, moving to stand up and leave.

“Castiel, wait.” Cas stopped, surprised. Dean never used his full name. No one ever had, except from his father, but he barely counted. Dean sighed, “Look, sorry, I’m just a bit freaked, okay.”

“Can I ask what happened? Or will you ‘freak out’ again?” Dean tried not to think about how adorable Cas was when he was being snarky at him, air-quotes and all.

“When we kissed...I remembered some stuff from Heaven. Not really remembered, it’s all kinda blurry. But it was bad, Cas. There was this room, and a woman. Said I was broken and that they needed to fix me. They tore into my head.” He fidgeted with his hands, not wanting to see Cas’s reaction. “I think they did something to me. I never realised, too doped up on whatever Clockwork Orange shit they did, but it’s been a long time since I...Angels aren’t meant to feel emotions, Cas, not like I do. What if there’s other stuff I can’t remember? What if they’re still inside my head?”

“No.” Cas rested a hand on Dean’s shoulder, the firm touch helping to ground him. “Dean, whatever you’re worried about happening, Gabriel and I will help, I promise. You’re our friend and you’ve helped us so much. Of course we would do the same for you in return.”

“It’s worse than that, Cas.” A single tear trickled down Dean’s cheek. “I think...It was only for a second, but I saw Sam. He was hurt real bad and I just...I didn’t care. I wanted him dead.”

 

Cas was quiet for a long time. Finally, he said softly, “We’re not talking about this. It isn’t helping you.” He hesitated before asking, “Tell me about your brother. You’ve mentioned him a lot and I know he’s very dear to you, but I don’t actually know that much about him.”

“You want to know about Samael?” That was a surprise. Most people hated to mention Lucifer’s name, or if they did, it was only to talk about his wrong-doings. They never actually cared about who he’d been before, Samael.

Cas nodded, “You were close, weren’t you?”

“Hell yeah. I as good as raised the kid.” Dean couldn’t help smiling as he thought back on happier times. “You’d have liked him. He was curious about everything, couldn’t get enough of Dad’s creation. He really cared about people too. He would just pull out the puppy dog eyes and people’d tell him anything he wanted to know.”

“What changed?”

“There was a war. Fighting back the Darkness. She was Dad’s sister and a real piece of work. Wanted nothing but chaos, to destroy everything Dad had worked so hard to build.” Dean’s expression soured as he thought back on it, how much they’d all lost in that fight. “We couldn’t kill her, so Sam comes up with this plan to lock her away for good. He always was the smart one. Her prison would be bound to a mark, branded onto his skin. As long as he bore the mark, she’d be shut away. Thing is, that kinda magic has consequences. Sammy started to change. It was poisoning him from the inside out. So when he rebelled…They wanted me to kill him, but he was still my kid brother. I wanted to believe, if I just tried, I could’ve saved him.” He looked away.

“I’m sorry.” Cas said quietly. He sounded like he really meant it too, his voice full of sorrow. “If our positions had been reversed and that had happened to Gabriel...I would have given up everything if it meant I could save him. You did the right thing, Dean. Don’t ever forget that.”

Dean smiled up at him, eyes watery with tears. “You really are something, Cas, you know that?”

Cas blushed, shifting uncomfortably. “I’m nothing special.”

“You are to me.” They stared at each other for a few moments before Dean glanced away. They were both skirting around something, he knew. But it scared him too much. He couldn’t commit. Not yet. “Go get some rest.”   
“Alright.” Cas didn’t push him. Instead, he dared to ruffle Dean’s hair affectionately. “Goodnight, Dean. Sleep well.”

“You too, Cas.”


	4. Chapter 4

Cas’s dreams were rarely peaceful. One of the disadvantages of spending most of your life seeking out the kind of things nightmares were made of. He knew just what was out there. Then there were the memories: all the people they’d never saved; Gabriel dying; more recently, Hell. Tonight was one of those rare moments of quiet. Nothing special, just a spacious park, only a few kids flying kites in lazy loops across the sky to disturb the quiet. It was perfect. Cas leaned back on his park bench, watching it all with a fond smile.

“Not what I would have expected from a hunter’s dreams.”

Cas turned around, startled, to see he was no longer alone. A black man, wearing an impeccably tailored suit, was sat next to him, watching their surroundings with a thoughtful expression. Cas instinctively reached for the gun he always kept in his pocket.

“There’s no need for violence.” The man snapped his fingers and the reassuring cold metal feel of the gun in Castiel’s hand abruptly vanished.

“What are you?” He made an effort to keep his voice level.

“My name’s Gordon. I assume Michael has told you about me?”

“Dean mentioned you were a backstabbing jerk, yes.”

Gordon chuckled, though there was no real mirth in it. “I thought he might have said something like that.”

“So you should know well enough to leave me alone. I’m not interested in whatever deal or compromise you’re here to offer.”

“Perhaps not. But I doubt he’s told you the full story either. For instance, did you know he’s dying?”

“What?” Cas stared at him, eyes wide in shock.

“You’re his true vessel, remember? Without you, Michael’s on borrowed time. He can wear any human that says Yes to him, of course, but they’ll burn up from the inside. He’s only got a few months, at most.” Gordon smiled, eyes calculating. “You care about him. Don’t try to lie, I can see it in your face.”

“Dean won’t return to Heaven. He’s not going to kill his brother, no matter what you tempt him with.” Cas had no doubts about that, at least.

“Far from it. We’ll not accept him back. Heaven doesn’t tolerate traitors. Dean will have no choice, but for you to say Yes to him or he’ll have to find another vessel that will burn out just as quickly.”

Cas sighed, understanding dawning. “You’re trying to blackmail me.”

Gordon shrugged, “Merely making you aware of the consequences of your actions. Of course, if you were to agree to fulfil the prophecy of the Righteous Man, we might reconsider that stance.”

“Make a deal for Dean, so I’m still going to Hell for a righteous cause.” Cas muttered, taking it all in. He tilted his head slightly, watching Gordon with a curious expression. “Why do you want this so badly?”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“If you want me to say Yes, I would say it is. I’m not giving you an answer until I know.”

Gordon sighed, “If you must know, Michael is blind to his brother’s faults. Lucifer is a danger to us all.”

“A danger that you’re setting loose on the world?”

“If we don’t, the demons will, sooner or later. This way, we have the advantage of knowing it’s coming. Besides, wouldn’t humanity be better off with all of Hell and its demons destroyed? Because that’s what will happen, if we win.”

“So all of the human casualties that will result are just a nasty side-effect.”

“To make an omelette, you have to break a few eggs.”

“Or you’re jealous of Dean and his position in Heaven.” Cas murmured, finally voicing his suspicions. “You don’t like that he still cares about Lucifer, even after what he’s done, and that he wants to save him.”

Gordon stared at him for a few moments, before a feral smile spread across his features. “You’re never going to agree, no matter what I offer you.”

“No.”

“Even if it could save your precious guardian angel?” His voice was full of mockery. “I know all about the little crush you have on him. It’s sickening. You honestly think he could ever care about  _ you _ ? He would tell you just how freakish your feelings are, but lucky for you, he needs you to be loyal to him. So he strings you along, his little obedient puppet. Never tells you just how broken you are.”

“Maybe that’s true.” Cas kept his voice firm, though he was shaking. Gordon’s words hit just a little too close to home for him. “But I don’t care. Do what you want with me. I’m not going to change my mind.”

Light started to dim in the once sunny park, moving from evening to night. Only a pale moon shone a wavering light down on them, and that was dimming too. In the fading light, Cas could just see the twisted joy on Gordon’s features, “I had hoped you’d say that.”

The lights went out.

xxx

 

“Cas won’t wake up.”

Dean frowned, glancing up from his book at Gabriel. “So? He’s not a morning person. You remember last time one of us went to wake him without a cup of coffee?”

Gabriel sighed in exasperation. “You really think I’d be worried if I wasn’t sure something’s wrong? I had to check he was breathing, asshole.”

“Let me try.” Dean laid aside his book.  “Hope you’re wrong, though.”

 

He wasn’t.

xxx

 

A blood-curdling howl pierced the air. Cas picked up his speed, running as fast as he could. They would follow him, he knew. He hadn’t been making any particular effort to be quiet as he ran, crashing through branches as he tried desperately to escape. From previous experience, too, he knew the dogs would catch up eventually. You can’t outrun the hounds of Hell. Could you die in your own head? Cas really didn’t want to be the one to find out.

xxx

 

They tried everything to get him to wake up, but nothing would work. Cas just laid there, still and silent. If it wasn’t for the steady rise and fall of his chest, he would have looked like a corpse.

“Got to be some kind of spell.” Dean muttered, gently resting a hand on Cas’s forehead. Grace poured out of him, the pure white light illuminating Cas’s face, as he searched for whatever had to be causing this. Eventually, he drew his hand back, frowning.

“What is it?” Gabriel asked, worry written across his features.

“Gordon. That sick son of a bitch…”

“Your douchey angel number two? You said he’d be coming for Cas. Why didn’t you ward him or something, if you knew something like this could happen. You absolute asshole-”

Dean cut him off, mid-tirade. “You can’t ward someone’s dreams, smartass. Gordon’s got him trapped in his own mind. Don’t know what he’s doing in there, but it’s bad.”

“Can he get hurt?” That was all Gabriel really cared about.

“Not physically.” Mentally, though, Cas was screwed. Just because Cas’s body was okay, that didn’t mean he was going to get out of there alive. Gordon could so easily lock Cas away in his own head, leaving him there to die a slow and painful death.

Gabriel sighed, “There’s got to be some way to get him out of there.”

“I can try using my grace to dreamwalk, then I can try and pull him out.” Dean closed his eyes, the room starting to fill with heavenly light as he focused his energy on Cas. The light was almost too bright to stand, Gabriel squinting as he watched, praying Dean’s powers would work.

xxx

There was no way he was going to survive this.

Cas was tiring, struggling to keep moving. He could hear the hounds getting closer and closer, the baying of the pack ever louder in his ears. It wouldn’t take much for some of them to charge ahead, completely surrounding him.

Would Gabriel and Dean ever know what had happened to him, he wondered as he ran. Would they just assume he’d died of natural causes, or realise that Gordon had a hand in his demise? He thought about Gabriel, how happy he’d been when Cas had been resurrected so suddenly. He’d not talked much about what it had been like when Cas had been dead, but Cas knew his brother, knew enough to realise how hard on him it had been. To lose Cas again so suddenly, when he’d only just got him back...It would break him. That thought spurred Cas on, helping him force on as he sprinted through the forest.

 

His progress was soon halted, though. A ghostly form flickered into being ahead of him. At first, Cas skidded to a standstill, assuming this was yet another of Gordon’s creations sent to torture him. Then his face split into a broad grin.

“Dean.”

Dean smiled back, his form flickering slightly. His mouth moved, but Cas couldn’t hear the words or decipher what he was trying to say. Cas moved towards him, edging closer and stretching out his hand, knowing that if he could just reach Dean, that was his ticket out of this hellhole. Their fingers were just about to touch, Dean looking ever more solid, when Cas saw his eyes widen. 

“Cas!” His voice was full of desperation as he called out.

Cas reached for him desperately, but it was too late. Dean’s image flickered, then dissolved.

 

“Lover boy can’t save you now.”

 

Cas turned to see Gordon, smirking, his bloody hand moving away from one of the surrounding trees to reveal a symbol scorched into the bark. There were two hellhounds panting at his feet, eyes red and hungry. Several more formed a circle around the clearing, fencing Cas in. There was no escape.

 

xxx

 

Dean collapsed to the floor in a tangle of limbs, the light of his grace abruptly dying. Gabriel rushed over to help him sit up.

“Did you find him?”

“Yeah.” A trickle of blood ran down from Dean’s nose, but he ignored it. His face was a portrait of grief. “Gordon used banishing sigils before I could get him out. I was so close…”

Gabriel swore under his breath. “Go back there. Now. We don’t have time to waste.”

“You think I’ve got the juice to do that again? I’m beat, Gabriel.” Dean glared at him. “‘Sides, that sigil blocks me using my powers to get back in there. We need to think of something else.”

“There isn’t time!”

“LIke I don’t know that, asshole? Don’t bitch at me. That’s not gonna get him out of there. Or do you want your brother to die?”

 

xxx

 

Standing tall, Cas met Gordon’s eyes. If this was how he was going to go down, he was going to make sure it meant something.

“My answer hasn’t changed.”

 

“Good.” Gordon barely looked human, his features as full of blood-thirsty hunger as the hellhounds. “We’ll find another Righteous Man. Tearing you apart will be an excellent lesson to Michael about just what happens when you disobey orders.” A smirk slid across his features. “Of course...if we’re going to do this properly, we need a fitting executioner.”

That couldn’t be right. He’d sent the hellhounds after him, hadn’t he? Forcing Cas to relieve his last death, that was the grand finale he had planned. Wasn’t it?

Gordon snapped his fingers. A familiar figure appeared next to him, blade in hand, eyes cold and merciless. Cas’s breath caught in his throat.

“Kill him.” Gordon murmured, voice full of triumph.

Cas tried to back away, but he barely got to the ring of the circle before two of the hellhounds snapped at his feet, driving him back forwards to meet his doom.

 

xxx

 

Cas was looking paler by the minute. Dean could see his soul flickering, struggling to hold on against whatever Gordon had sent after him. 

He slumped back against the bed, burying his face in his hands. “I couldn’t save him. Wasn’t strong enough.” Just like he hadn’t been able to save Sam.

“There’s no hope?” The way Gabriel’s voice cracked with grief was almost too much to bear. Dean shook his head. Tears flooded from his eyes, his body wracked with silent sobs.

He didn’t see the slap coming. He looked up, startled at Gabriel, eyes full of fury, glaring down at him. “Well, screw you. I’m not giving up on Cas, even if you will. We’re getting him out of there. No angel’s gonna get the drop on us, not if I can help it.”

 

xxx

 

Dean. Objectively, Cas knew it wasn’t him, knew there was something not quite right about the figure before him. There was none of the warmth in his eyes that there usually was. He stood up too straight, like a soldier standing to attention and awaiting orders. The smile he wore as he moved in closer to Cas was too cruel and mirthless. Dean would never have taken pleasure in something like this, never been so gleeful to destroy someone.

  
“Dean, this isn’t you.” Cas muttered, to himself as much as to the angel.

He kept on coming, raising his blade to strike down at Cas. Cas dodged. It was a close thing, though. Dean had so many more centuries of fighting experience. Cas couldn’t even try to compete. He didn’t even have a weapon to defend himself with. A neatly placed jab stabbed into his side, making Cas wince in pain and he stumbled back, trying to keep his balance.

“You deserve this.” Dean muttered. “Even the touch of you corrupts.From the moment I laid a hand on you in Hell, I was damned.”

Cas tried to shut the words out, ignore the hate in Dean’s eyes. This wasn’t the real Dean talking, just a puppet of Gordon’s sent to torment him. He had to remember that. But it was hard. Especially when so much of it reminded him of his own thoughts and worries.

As he stepped back, trying to duck out of Dean’s range, he tripped. Damn tree-roots. Flat on his back, he stared up as Dean lifted his blade high, going in for the kill. Cas closed his eyes, preparing for the end.

 

It never came. 

There was a flutter of wings. Gordon muttering, “I thought I had warded you out.”

“You forgot about African dreamroot, smartass.” Gabriel’s voice. What was he doing here? “Like we’d give up that easy.”

Strong arms lifted Cas up, helping him to his feet and he opened his eyes to see Dean, the real Dean, grinning at him. Golden wings spread out behind him, encircling them both protectively.

“You came.” Cas couldn’t hide the relief in his voice.

“Couldn’t leave you at the mercy of a douchebag like Gordon. ‘Course me and Gabe were gonna come and get you.” Dean winked. He pressed a quick kiss to Cas’s cheek, before turning to face Gordon, ignoring how Cas’s face had turned red and how he’d gasped in surprise. “Hey, asshole! Pick on someone your own size!”

Grey wings spread out behind Gordon as he pulled out his own sword. “I wouldn’t be so sure.” He smirked. “I know how you fight, Michael. I’ve had you on the ropes more than once. You honestly think you can beat me now?”

“All I can do is try.”

 

Then they were fighting, the cut and thrust too fast and brutal to easily follow. Jab. Parry. Thrust. The two angels moved together in a beautiful deadly dance. Any other time, Cas would have marvelled at it. Now, he stood back, praying that Dean knew what he was doing. He didn’t know what he’d do, if Dean didn’t make it out of there alive. Finally, they drew apart. Dean seemed in the better shape of the two, but both were injured, the bright light of grace oozing out of wounds and feathers littering the forest floor from where they’d been torn.

“Ready to give up?” Gordon spat, his mouth bloody from a well-placed punch.

“Hell no.” Dean smirked back at him.

“Why do you care so much about him? He’s only a human. Mortal. We were family.” Gordon raised his blade, twisting it in his fingers, showing off just how competent with a sword he really was.

“Family.” Dean smiled bitterly. “Like hell we are. You cut off my wings, remember? Don’t even get me started on the white room. I can’t remember it all, but I know what reconditioning looks like. As my second-in-command, you’d be the only one with the authority to send me there.”

Gordon laughed, though there was no humour in it. “You think I sent you to Ellen?”

“Who else would have done it, asshat?”

“You.” Gordon frowned slightly as he saw Dean’s disbelief. “You honestly don’t believe me, do you? You gave the order, Dean.”

“You expect me to believe that? Don’t talk crap. Why the hell would I send myself in there? I’ve seen what it does to the angels that come out the other side.”

“After Lucifer. You said you didn’t want to feel any more. You begged her to find a way of helping you to forget.” Gordon watched him, eyes narrowed. “It hurt too much to care about Samael. Of course, we had to take you in, every so often. The reprogramming never really stuck. Even you didn’t remember me giving you the order. You didn’t want to remember why it was necessary. Of course, it all started to wear off when you rescued him.” He shot a dirty glance in Cas’s direction. “We couldn’t put you back under. So I had to cut off your wings. It was the only way…”

Dean stared at him, angel blade falling to one side. “I wouldn’t…”

“You think I wanted to hurt you?” Gordon all but screamed at him. “We were friends, Michael! I was following your orders! You said our Father told you that if you couldn’t save Lucifer, you had to kill him. It was the only way!”

“No. Not the only way.” Dean was suddenly quiet. Resolute. “‘Cause I’m gonna do what I should’ve done all along. I’m gonna save my brother and you aren’t gonna stop me. Stand down, Gordon. Please. Or I will kill you.”

Gordon raised his sword, eyes cold. “Our Father’s orders come first, Dean. I’m sorry.”

 

Swords clashed, the occasional cry of pain and flash of grace as the two angels really went in for the kill. It was brutal. Cas could barely watch. He and Gabriel stood on the sidelines, utterly helpless to do anything. Finally, though, it was over. Dean thrust his blade up through Gordon’s neck. There was a burst of light. A final pitiful scream. Then the angel’s corpse fell back, charred wings scorched into the ground. Dean stood there, silent, just staring down at his brother’s corpse.

Gabriel nudged Cas gently. “Go on, then. Talk to Lover Boy. Just don’t take too long. You have one heck of a creepy dreamscape, bro.”

Cas huffed a laugh, “I’ll do my best.” He smiled back at his brother. “Thanks for rescuing me. Both of you. I’m assuming the dreamroot was your idea.”   
Gabriel grinned, “Maybe. Wasn’t gonna run the risk of losing you again. I couldn’t just wait for Feathers over there to come up with something smart.”

“All the same. Thank you.”

Gabriel nodded, giving him one last encouraging smile before stepping back, allowing Cas to brace himself. This wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, he knew.

 

Cas moved over to Dean, still standing motionless over Gordon’s corpse, hesitantly taking his hand. “Dean.” The archangel startled, but he didn’t pull away. “Let’s go home.”

“I need to bury him.” Dean’s voice was full of sorrow. “He was my brother. He…”

“He made his choice. You couldn’t have saved him.” Cas squeezed Dean’s hand gently. “I know this is a lot to take in. I’m not expecting it to be easy. But if you’ll let me...I want to be there for you.”

Dean turned to look at him. “Cas, you really sure you want that? I mean, I’m ten kinds of messed up. You heard Gordon, what he said I did. You sure you want someone like that around?”   
“There’s only one way for me to know for sure.” Cas smiled slightly, moving a hand to lightly caress Dean’s cheek. “All I know is that as long as you’re around, I’m happy. And if staying with us would help you, then I want to do what I can.”

“Okay.” Dean leaned into his touch. “I’ll try. I promise.”


End file.
